OMG, where will the Nets players live? Times devotes two articles, six reporters, to investigation, promotion

In a Sports section front-page story (B7) headlined Nets Will Play in Brooklyn but Will Practice and Live Outside Borough, the New York Times relies on five reporters to explore the vital conundrum, as expressed in the article's closing paragraph:

Brooklyn seems ready to adopt the Nets. It may be a while before the Nets adopt Brooklyn.

Of course the "ready to adopt" is evidenced, in the main, by the team's extensive advertising campaign--and the Times's promotion, in two articles covering at least 1.6 pages today (and nearly 3 pages a few weeks back).

Because the Nets will practice in New Jersey for two years--they're looking for a site in Red Hook--the players are mainly living in New Jersey or Manhattan. Howard Beck writes:

The team is making plans to ease the commuting strain. The Nets will provide hotel rooms in Brooklyn on game days, allowing them to hold a morning shootaround at the arena’s practice court without forcing players to crisscross Manhattan multiple times before tipoff.

And guess what, Alabama native Gerald Wallace says "I’m afraid of the city... Hopefully, I can find a driver to take me back and forth.”

So much for arena slogan of "Eleven Trains. One Destination."

Though, to be fair, it's unlikely that any other Nets player will take the train; most will just drive themselves.

Striving for twee

In an effort at twee, the Times presented two suggestions, one completely fanciful, in the photos/captions at left.

The players "could perhaps shop for groceries at the Park Slope Food Co-op" only if they were members of said co-op, and that requires a famously monthly work shift requirement.

Not gonna happen.

Real estate promotion

On B12, the Times offers an even more fanciful article, Nets Players May Find Brooklyn a Tempting Place to Live, relying on real estate brokers to make a pitch where tall young men might want to live.

The article's kind of dumb. For example, a $10.7 million house is described as " less-than-chic enclave of Gravesend,' but is also "close to Brighton Beach."The reason it's so expensive is not to lure millionaire hoopsters but to attract Sephardic Jewish families that want to live in a tight-knit neighborhood.

The Times reports:

As for Nets players who want to rent, not buy, a possibility is the 17-story high-rise at 163 Washington Ave., which hulks like a basketball player among civilians in its low-slung Clinton Hill neighborhood. Its two-bedroom penthouse, with 1,260 sunny square feet, features clear East River views and trendy stainless-steel fixtures.

It rents for $6,850 a month, said [broker David] Maundrell.

For what it's worth, the "basketball player" has a bit of a controversial history, angering neighbors and switching between condo and rental, apparently leaving some early buyers taking the hit on attorney's fees.

But yes, a condo in the nearby One Hanson Place, a destination reportedly examined by "some Nets," would make sense.