To move tickets (at significant but non-bargain discounts), Nets and partners resort to extreme whimsy and euphemism (update: it didn't take)
The web-based Groupon business, which offers discounts if a minimum number of people make a purchase, is now offering Nets tickets with a face value of $100 for $39--not much of a bargain.
And the text of the offer not only mistakes the Falcons for a basketball team, it resorts to extreme whimsy ("impressive demonstrations of talent" include "drinking from Gatorade cups") and euphemism (the team, threatening to set a record for losses, is "a few games out of first place").
Groupon subscribers tell me that such a fanciful manner is not atypical, but in this case it seems particularly grating:
Today's deal gets you one lower-level seat to one of 10 New Jersey Nets home games at the IZOD Center, a $100 value. Games begin at 7:30 or 8 p.m., and your tickets will be in sections 104, 105, 111, 112, 118, 119, 125, or 126. View the seating chart here. See the sidebar for available options, including key matchups against playoff contenders such as the Falcons and Bulls. Pick your desired game, let the Nets know you're coming, then pick up your tickets at will call on game day.To get the deal, 20 buyers are needed.
The Nets are a few games out of first place, meaning they are sure to play a good game of professionally played basketball full of captivatingness or thrillarity. With point guard Devin Harris leading, Yi Jianlian on the squad, and a bunch of young players rounding out the team, impressive demonstrations of talent will be witnessed at every game, including dribbling, shooting, rebounding, sweating, drinking from Gatorade cups, taking off shooting shirts, running, putting shooting shirts back on, jumping, making french toast during timeouts, juggling mopeds, and dribbling.
But is Groupon--often the source of genuine bargains--as good in this case as StubHub?
Well, for the March 16 game against Atlanta, StubHub offers tickets in sections 104 and 118 for $10.