Dear Community Liaison at PacificPark.com,
I know it's petty to admonish you about email tactics, so I'll be brief.
If you're going to send email about something important, please add a custom subject line, replacing the generic "The latest news for you," especially when the news might be jarring and you want people to read it.
Also, please eliminate or, better yet, rewrite the boilerplate message at the bottom:
First of two current versions flawed
The email at right, from June 6, is the better version of two current scenarios, albeit with generic subject line and confusing boilerplate.
However, the embedded image does explain the point of the email: noisy night work in the Vanderbilt Yard that very night. That would've been worth highlighting in text and subject line.
Second version more flawed
However, that scenario doesn't occur for those of us who've set up our mobile email client to, by default, not show images. See bottom.
Though the main part of the message was a screenshot from an Empire State Development announcement, that didn't immediately show up, because the image was blocked. So all I saw was boilerplate.
The first time I got an email like this? It looked like a phishing expedition. Please do better, Pacific Park.
If you're going to send email about something important, please add a custom subject line, replacing the generic "The latest news for you," especially when the news might be jarring and you want people to read it.
Also, please eliminate or, better yet, rewrite the boilerplate message at the bottom:
It's a fact: people don't mind scrolling to read an email, as long as it's relevant and interesting. Make sure your message follows through on the promise in your subject line, and use several short paragraphs if you have a lot to say. When in doubt, challenge yourself to write less and add links that support your topic.Leaving that in is just misleading.
First of two current versions flawed
The email at right, from June 6, is the better version of two current scenarios, albeit with generic subject line and confusing boilerplate.
However, the embedded image does explain the point of the email: noisy night work in the Vanderbilt Yard that very night. That would've been worth highlighting in text and subject line.
Second version more flawed
However, that scenario doesn't occur for those of us who've set up our mobile email client to, by default, not show images. See bottom.
Though the main part of the message was a screenshot from an Empire State Development announcement, that didn't immediately show up, because the image was blocked. So all I saw was boilerplate.
The first time I got an email like this? It looked like a phishing expedition. Please do better, Pacific Park.
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| Note: the subject line ("The latest news for you") was cut off in this screenshot |
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